It looks like it's all up to me

Last one of these for a while. It's getting depressing typing up all this rubbish.

The army has failed and Cliff Davenport has had enough:


It looks like it's all up to me,

When there's a crisis to address,
The Officers leave us in a mess,
All of you big wigs must agree,
It looks like it's all up to me,

The army sent a couple of chaps,
There's been a crabby bridge collapse,
Who's left searching the debris,
It looks like it's all up to me,

When it comes to using your loaf,
Who do you trust? A bungling oaf?
Or a man with a briar and a college degree,
It looks like it's all up to me,

Some people drive tanks with nuclear fission,
People like that don't share my vision,
Some people wear brass and medals with ribbons,
But in a crab-based crisis they do my bidding,

Of course they do,

Don't talk about military intelligence,
My response would be both curt and inelegant,
I'm annoyed at the army you see,
Cause it looks like its all up to me,

The government to my dismay,
Have done little to ease this aquatic affray,
The depressing conclusion must be,
It looks like it's all up to me,