Water Works

More Night of the Crabs gubbins. This is from the start of the musical and features the following ripe introduction:

Julie: Look, there's Shell Island.They say the bathing is super there.
Ian: The bathing is better than here? It's the same water isn't it?
Julie: Ian! You know what I mean!
Ian: Seriously! Is the water wetter? Is it heated? Soothing bubbles?
Julie: It's less exposed...more private.
Ian: Oh...I see. Yes, well, okay then. You're right...there may be "busy bodies" about here. Busy spying on our naked bodies. With field-glasses.
Julie: Race you!
Ian: Oh ho! This could be sexy. Very sexy. That's why I love the seaside. It never fails..."

And the anaemic funk of "Water Works" begins...




Water Works

The smack of sea-salt in the air,
While the sun is gently beating us,
Off come slacks like inhibitions,
Goodbye London, hello lust,
That magic place where dirt meets water,
Middle England locks up its daughters,

If you're having a dry season,
Water works, water works,
And if the sea's not freezing,
Water works, water works,
The old lady and the sea,
Water works, water works,
Erotic possibilities,
Water works, water works


Driving down in my old two-seater,
My girl beside me, shot-gun style,
Hope she's got an itchy trigger finger,
Cause I've not had it in a while,
Her bikini and her small firm breasts,
Sun and sea will do the rest,

If you're having a dry season,
Water works, water works,
And if the sea's not freezing,
Water works, water works,
The old lady and the sea,
Water works, water works,
Erotic possibilities,
Water works, water works